The Whale Shark IS the largest fish in the world, yes it is a fish. Although one looks like it could eat a human being whole, their large mouth is only used to feed on microscopic plants and animals (although one was found eating a school of fish recently!). The Whale Shark is NOT an efficient swimmer and swims up to speeds of a whopping 3MPH. I am pretty sure if I threw homeboy in the community pool that day he would only sink. The enormous size of this fish alone scares off prey for they are often mistaken for sharks.
It's comical to read articles on why people use steroids and the most common reason is because they feel inferior to others in society. To put it simply, all they want to do is look bad ass (like a whale shark). Besides the veins that were protruding from my very own Whale Sharks neck and arms, he looked pretty bad ass. I honestly think the average male would fear him and the average female would fear his lack of performance in bedroom. People on steroids often experience "roid rage," which I am almost positive the poor Whale Shark was experiencing when he ate the school of fish:( Muscles in a human being may also go into spasms and cause often twitches and bursts of energy. Ok here we go!
I as parked in guest parking at this beautiful apartment complex in Mission Valley I was greeted by a very large man with flailing arms that stopped half way up because his neck was too big. Now close your eyes and imagine a bird flying on a very windy day all by itself unable to move any amount of distance, but flapping like crazy. Now imagine a whale shark....yes that's it, that's what I was greeted by. As we made our way to the lawn chairs I noticed large acne like spots all over his muscly bod and not only wondered if that was a side effect of roids (which it is) but also was wondering if there was a species known as the Leopard Whale Shark. OK moving on.
We laid in the long chairs and he cracked open some beers and I thought to myself "yup, this is the life." Then I looked to the right of me and realized it actually could be better. His voice was VERY deep and he mumbled a lot so I only caught a few uninteresting details from this boy and I was more focused on laying just the right way to make my abs looked majestic. He said something about being in the Navy (figures) then something about how he doesn't party much (as we are drinking beers and he texted me wasted the night before). Maybe he mentioned his mom and possibly his job, but I honestly couldn't tell you what he does other than attend/type his way through the University of Pheonix. What I did hear him say was that he did not even live at the complex and he "borrowed" his buddies key to get into the pool. SCORE! The only thing you had going for you is fake just like your superhero body! Conversation did not continue since I wasn't doing any of the talking but, I was enjoying the sun and my Miller Light.
He kept talking I kept drinking and trying not to laugh at his crazy hand motions/twitches as he told stories I wasn't listening to. Did I tell you he had the largest gap in his front teeth? O my! As if nothing else was distracting you throw that at me!!! My Whale Shark did say one thing that made this whole waste of sunlight (well beside my tan) worth it. "Well you know, I am just like a big fish in a small pond." Ya you are buddy and you should upgrade. How about the Gulf of Mexico with the other Whale Sharks? Oh wait wasn't there that big oil spill? Ok you can stay at your buddies community pool.
B~
PS. I read in Chelsea Lately the other night that use of names and pictures could get one sued soooo I am just going to stick to the pictures of fish :)
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